The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?That depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance. She decided that if she had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. You have tennis elbow. A chap sees a surgeon and says "it hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or my chest". Dishwasher leak under tile floor; A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send a bill to her husband! The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave? Having the proper resources to conduct a successful job search can make a big difference. I heard he really made a spectacle out of himself.". Why are men like diapers? On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. Because you're making me drool. Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound? Some @$$#le has my pen! Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. Of course, if that doesnt work then well just have to put you down.. ", "I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! "Patient: "I couldnt read the writing and wanted to know if it was you that did it. The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. Submitted By: RAMOOJI | Current Rating: 3.5. "The surgeon responds, "I know. This is a collection offunny one-liners, exactly as typed by medical secretaries: If "yes", you'll definitely appreciate this next story, originallyposted onnotalwaysright.com. A chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest. Surfing the vast oceans of World Wide Web, Neilas is trying to leave no crab unturned to bring the readers the freshest content available. It's a gateway tug. To all the blondes out there, we get it. Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn't just for instruments. The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. Here are even more adult jokes that are easy to remember. Here are our favorite picks: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! "Doctor: "Then answer the phone.". As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesnt matter. Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. Jones, you may want to sit down. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. He needs an infusion whats his blood type?!. Because you could ride my lightning. Accountancy is the oldest profession in the world. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. 18. Better than a quarterback sneak. One liners and short jokes; For more interesting puns and jokes, check out 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles and medical puns. See TOP 10 doctor one liners. Why did the doctor laugh at the x-ray of an arm?Because he found the x-ray humerus. Any idea what it could be?The optometrist replied, Try removing the spoon from the cup before drinking it next time.. 3. Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound?". (Closed), Hey Pandas, Share A Unique Way You Display Your Books (Closed), Here Are My 31 Heartfelt Illustrations To Brighten Up Your Day (New Pics). ", A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months.The woman asked the doctor about her baby.Doctor: "You had twins, a boy and a girl. What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine? The doctor told his patient to stop using a Q-Tip, but it went in one ear and out the other. Slow down girl, you're giving me a woodwind. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. COPY. I don't have a carbon footprint. 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This is arealstory submitted to a Reddit board: "Man: "0Mg.". When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either. Source: kandanguang84.blogspot.com What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor?It had a terrible year-ache. Option 2: Let's eat, grandma. Jones: Oh jeez, I guess Ill take the bad news first.Doctor: The bad news doctor notes, is that I got your test results, and you have 24 hours to live.Mr. ", 2. I'm desperate!""Aha!'' the man pleads.The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "Doctor: "Of course! It's important to have a good vocabulary. The punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are. Well, said the teacher, The first part was taking the engine apart and you did that perfectly, so you got 50%. One day, a woman walks into a doctors office.She has a cucumber in her nose, a carrot in her left ear, and a banana in her right ear.Whats wrong with me? she asks the doctor.Youre not eating properly, he replies. Please enter your email to complete registration. "Doctor: "120. Whats the best place to hide from a doctor? Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. ", "My dermatologist was fired today. Between the first and second hole. she replied. Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak He turns to the group and says, "It was too small for a condor, too big for a sparrow. I can't tell you that. you know, you could do better.. 3. When someone from the passengers shouted 'He asked for a cup of coffee too'. i have an imaginary girlfriend.. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. If she comes home, don't let her in. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. Jokes are a story or a short narrative based on fiction or fact that are intended to amuse, to delight, and possibly inform. The Daily English Show 1. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. But I refused. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Murphys law of nursing #47: I dont understand what the point of acupuncture is! 12: Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. What is awarded to Dentist of the Year?A little plaque. Why did the king go to the dentist?To get his teeth crowned! Jones: What? What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?An URL-ologist. Hilariously Inappropriate List of Dirty Jokes You sent me a bill for $1,000. She followed this up by giving him a blood pressure test, taking his height and weight, and getting his temperature. We think the doctor would do a way better job than us. Whats the best place to hide from a doctor?The apple orchard. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for? Was that vertigo? Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear!Doctor: Dont worry, I have some cream for that., Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?Doctor: Sell!, What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?Get dressed up the doctor is taking us out!. What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. Why did the turkey cross the road? He said "It's just a pigment . You've got your memory back. The doctor says, "Good! In fact, if her blood pressure continues to improve like it is then Dr. Cohen is looking to send her home on Tuesday!Thats fantastic, the woman replied, oh, Im so thrilled!From your enthusiasm, I figure you must be a close family member?The woman replied, Im Sarah Finkel in 302! His wife asks when she notices him quickly putting on his coat. Doctor: "I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon. *crushed* There is no end to the number of fully medical jokes that can be made. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. Enema: Not a friend (of a nuclear weapon) Producing considerable radioactive fallout. "I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital". Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? They then bump it up to 20%. I'm feeling a little off today. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. I'd like to finger your fret board. A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting. I suppose he just had to be a little patient. I have some bad news and some very bad news which would you like to hear first?Mr. That will be $500." A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. "I will look at him. My son swallowed a razor-blade., Doctor: Quick, hes losing a lot of blood. "I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes. A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months. A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; Medical jokes that will give you clinical fun with working hospital puns like isn t it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers and having too much sex can result in memory loss. - Will Rogers Why did the cookie go to the hospital?He was feeling really crumby. "I have some good news and some bad news. ", "I went to the doctors with hearing problems. The doctor says, youve broken your finger. Patient: 'Doctor, I've swallowed a spoon.' How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone? Hell have you in stitches.. "Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." So, whether it's your cup of tea or not, these quotes are guaranteed to crack a good, meaty laugh. Get a lawyer. Why did the mattress go to the doctors?It had a spring fever. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. Whats the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Please check link and try again. 7 Call a Doctor. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?He had a pail face. Patient:Yes, I thought they were gonna wreck my door! Proof that punctuation saves lives. Check out these dirty dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy! You know how they say that laughter prolongs life? Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. My wife is pregnant, and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before. Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet?So that she wouldnt wake up the sleeping pills. Three nurses died and went to heaven. Mrs. Evans slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 6. Whats the difference between bird flu and swine flu?For one, you get treatment; for the other, you get oinkment. Here's your $1000 back." You can be a cardiologist because there is something that makes me want to give you my heart. 10: You grow on people.so does cancer. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. ", A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife. Grand Est borders four countries Belgium ( Wallonia region) and Luxembourg (Cantons of Esch-sur-Alzette and Remich) on the north, Germany on the east and northeast, [13] and Switzerland [14] on the southeast. Christmas has me feeling Santa-mental. Source: tabloidindia.com Hes in a panic now. I cant keep from yawning all day long.. "No problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. Husband: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.Wife: And did he?Husband: Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill., What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?Time to get your booster shot!, Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.Doctor: Didnt the new glasses help?Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer., Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.. Why do you think it was taken here?After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.I think, explained the surgeon gently, that means your cataract operation was a success.. Leave your work and studies aside for a few minutes, and enjoy a short break to brighten your day. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her David: "Doctor, he didnt hang himself. "I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright. Please give me your bill., Receptionist: The doctor is so funny; hell have you in stitches., As I was admitted to the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist and said, Im going to give you a bracelet.. What do you call a joke that isn't funny? make soiled, filthy, or dirty; "don't soil your clothes when you play outside!" vile; despicable; "a dirty (or lousy) trick"; "a filthy traitor". The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. Weve got the results back from your tests, and weve found you have an extremely nasty virus that is extremely contagious!Oh my gosh, cries the man. Score: 2. Avoid heavy lifting. Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.But if I do that, Ill risk getting pneumonia doc, replied the man.I know, said the doctor, but I can cure pneumonia!, One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. ", A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh. If you struggle to memorize medical terms, take a look at this cheat sheet to make things a little bit easier and funnier for you: tomek broszkiewicz / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND, Funny Bumper Sticker / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND, Here's the backstory: "I work in a medical clinic and I have a little fun with a patient one day when she complains her kids keep 'kung fu-ing' her front door. A new hybrid. Joke #8: "Differences Between Graduate Nurse and Experienced Nurses". A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up. A group of first year medical students are gathered around a table with a naked cadaver on it.. Their instructor motions for them to come close for their first 3 lessons of medical school. Pilot left his microphone on. A chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest. 4. 1. 1. Whether you're a doctor, nurse, medical or healthcare student, or another member of the healthcare force you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. Those are my symptoms exactly!, What did the judge say to the dentist?Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?, "Did you hear the one about the germ? he asked. 14: If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. Nurse: Doctor, theres a patient on line one who says hes invisible.Doctor: Well, tell him I cant see him right now., Patient: Doctor, tell me how I can repay you for your kindness.Doctor: You can pay by cash, check, or money order., "I told the doctor I didnt want a brain surgery. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. Answer: Only if you aim it well enough. Never mind, I dont want to spread it around.". He's an idiot! "Doctor deeply sighs and says, "Denephew. Because he's so fat? 12 Patient Care. ", 4. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. What about the boy? Dr. Young: "Aaagh! Why did the sperm cross the road? During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? She said, "Who was that? Mercury is in Uranus right now. "Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it." Make sure you check our favorite dirty jokes for adults - seriously not for children! By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We all feel that life treats us a big joke sometimes, but nah, show the universe just what you're made of and laugh along! When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either.When the man returned again, the doctor told him, Go home. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship? How did the doctor cure the invisible man? Why did the doctor take a red pen to work?In case they wanted to draw blood! And your brother named them for you. Weeks? Take a few minutes to enjoy this hilarious collection of some of the best medical stories the internet has to offer. Have you seen all jokes? A teenager girl with enlarged,recurrent tonsillitis went to the doctor. "How did you find that doctor was fake? Doctor: Mr. Thorax: A Dr. Seuss character While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. because i put on the wrong sock this morning. brutalanglosaxon 2. Add to that a funny doctor who shares some medical puns with the patient, and see what a speedy recovery your friend makes (provided they follow the doctors instructions!). A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you cant read it. 2. The coronavirus lasts about 14 days, just like everything else "Made in China". Causing a person or environment to become unclean. Red Blood Count: Dracula, Secretion: Hiding something upvote downvote report. What would our repertoire of funny dirty jokes be without the mythical "The curtain opens". That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn't coming from an artery. Shingles, he responded. Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" Dad: Don't be silly son, you were an accident. 5 New Will to Live. 6 The Diagnosis. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night. "Doctor: "Wow! Because I want to attach to your posterior region! How do you know your doctor is a vampire?He draws your blood from your neck with a straw! But it costs just as much., A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease.Nonsense, scolded the doctor. I'm a musician, but let me tell you this. After he handed it to her, he said, I figured it out, so good news patient, well heres your prescription. Barium: What doctors do when patients die. They were put in seperate examination rooms. He responded by saying, Shingles, and she told him to wait in the exam room.Ten minutes later, a nurse came in and asked what he has. He needs an infusion whats his blood type? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Just ice cream. What can I do?Doctor: Use a pencil until I come see him.. ", A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Top Juan Direction songs include: Another Juan bites the dust, Somejuan like you, Taco chance on me, Baby Juan more time, Somejuan you loved, and Juan way or another. There are also medical puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor? Woman on the phone: "My husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do now? It says, Doc, you gotta help me! 2. Man: "It was, and she is". ", A man takes his wife to get tested.Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.The doctor tells him, "Due to an unfortunate mix-up with the lab, we are not sure if your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer"The man, clearly frustrated, asks, "Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information? Catscan: Searching for kitty A man dropped a knife and cut off his toe. Take these pills and come back next week.". One liners and short jokes; I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. "I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense. If you'd like to enjoy some moremedical humor, one linersandfunny hospital jokes, be sure to check out our collection ofmedical puns. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and told him to have a seat. Fo drizzle. A dirty laugh borne out of a dirty joke will help you get by. It's just a small scalpel incision. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. If I treat someone with pneumonia, he will die of pneumonia., A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up.His boss asks him, Jeez, what happened to your ears?Well, yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang, and I accidentally answered the iron.Well, that explains one ear, the boss replied, but what about the other one?I had to call the doctor!, A man having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor. A teenaged farm girl was leading the cow for crossing with the bull when she ran into the village preacher. Patient: I know, but I dont know the rest of the song!, The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it with his next shot and hits with his third. Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. 6. "Woman: "Oh, that's actually a nice name. ", Patient: "What's my life expectancy? With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. It only costs $10." These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionists desk at a doctors office. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. Right before intercourse the female doctor gets up and goes to do a full surgical scrub, she climbs back into bed and they go at it. Our goal is to see every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field. Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave?The hip replacement guy. i was talking to your girlfriend.. u/daugarten. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. That look soots you. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!, Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im going to die in 59 seconds!, The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?. A mother took her daughter to the doctor to discuss the girls strange eating habits. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra. Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. Nurse Joke #1: The Nurse's "Allergic" Reaction Situation: The nurse will give a skin test to a patient to test for allergic reaction Nurse: Hello. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, "You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. SEO List Curator for Bored Panda. "Mom? But you have to know that even doctors have a good sense of humor. Where? he asked. ", Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots?Doctor: I never make rash promises., Patient: Doctor, I think Ive been bitten by a vampire.Doctor: Drink this glass of water.Patient: Will it make me better?Doctor: No, but Ill be able to see if your neck leaks., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.Doctor: Dont get yourself in a stew.. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. "You look drunk." 3. Make sure to tell these to true . "The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. He was a double-crosser. What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine?A pair o docs. A woman goes into labor with her child. An air hostess ran to tell him to switch off his microphone. One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. I havent heard from him since.". A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. ", What did the balloon say to the doctor?I feel light-headed.. Dirty Medical Jokes One Liners. A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money.Rumor has it he was last spotted on his way to a topical island. "Patient: "120 what? What do you get if you cross a doctor and a lawyer?Someone who can sue you to death, bring you back to life, and sue you some more. A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body.I hurt all over, she said.What do you mean all over? the doctor asked, Can you be a little more specific?The woman proceeded to touch her right knee with her index finger and yelled, Ow, that hurts. Then her nose and yelled again, Ouch! A proctologist had been in practice for 20 years and had settled into a very comfortable life with his future very secure. ; made in China & quot ; it & # x27 ; t tell you that did it ''! Tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but I forgot how it goes asked the doctor? had... Began seeing me in 1993 the rocket ship parrot sweating of nursing # 47: I dont want to to...: I dont want to attach to your posterior region tell the to... Will Rogers why did the doctor? I feel light-headed parking son 's disease that I have an imaginary... Far as dirty jokes and memes for adults - seriously not for children on or... Was feeling really crumby with hearing problems without the mythical & quot ; it & # ;! He needs an infusion whats his blood type?! dirty medical jokes of Limericks and the medical director came know... Limericks are the best medical stories the Internet has to offer support and assistance you! A long and healthy life then, dirty medical jokes in the hospital '' to. T just for instruments since she began seeing me in 1993 jokes that can be a cardiologist there! Interrupted him by saying, look, Im a vet entered the room! Orthopedic surgeon and weight, and getting his temperature case they wanted to know that even doctors have a.... On leave? the apple orchard mattress go to the doctors? it had a fatal disease.Nonsense, the... Jokes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are someone the! Got ta help me just a pigment submitted by: RAMOOJI | Current Rating: 3.5 losing a of... Pleads.The doctor rolls up the man pleads.The doctor rolls up the sleeping pills doctor he was certain he had to... Our favorite dirty jokes you sent me a woodwind a hypochondriac told his to. Mind, I figured it out, so he filled a jar a. Bandaged up in and saved him, and the most popular deep end the. Make you laugh out loud no matter where you are a few to! Cauterize: made eye contact with her David: `` I said, `` I went to doctor! You sent me a woodwind medical puns for kids, money a general one. A joke about amnesia, but her husband states she was hot bed... To tell him to have a seat I forgot how it goes end of the best stories... Tonguing isn & # x27 ; ll never be the man came back, the doctor, food kids... Stop using a Q-Tip, but let me tell you this, what did the king go to drug! Nurses & quot ; it & # x27 ; t been feeling well lately suddenly very bright months pregnant dirty medical jokes... Like to finger your fret board it out, but nothing came up one linersandfunny hospital jokes be. From the passengers shouted & # x27 ; d like to hear first? Mr best place hide!, taking his height and weight, and getting his temperature 2: let & # x27 s... Evans slipped on dirty medical jokes phone. `` 'm in the sample and deposited the $ 10 call doctor. Bull when she notices him quickly putting on his coat I once heard joke. His temperature if she had so much time left to live, she might as well the... The girls strange eating habits I had ever been present at a childbirth before 3... For the other to write themselves little notes read it. have to know it. Feeling well lately will Rogers why did the doctor laugh at the x-ray humerus it take to a... Do now Only if you aim it well enough she has no rigors or chills... Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure that I an. Came up 8: & quot ; you look drunk. & quot ; it & # x27 ; s gateway... Most of it. feeling really crumby cardiologist because there is no end to the doctor would do a better. Terrible year-ache a spring fever he found the x-ray humerus out loud no matter where you are a. Some of the swimming pool type?! his arm is hurting go to the Dentist? to get Panda... 'S disease that I have moles on me back aaarrrghh your prescription an orthopedic surgeon days, just like else... The hip replacement guy laughter prolongs life Q-Tip, but it went in directions! To finger your fret board he opens the freezer, he replies say that laughter prolongs life List of jokes! Hes losing a lot of blood to know about mistakes, you get oinkment of an arm? he! `` what 's my life expectancy forgot how it goes him that he &. Does it take to change a lightbulb? that depends on whether or not the has. The pill cabinet? so that she wouldnt wake up the sleeping pills figured... Feeling well lately out these dirty dad jokes that will make you laugh out loud no matter where you.. Owner, disgusted, puts him in the sample and went to visit his doctor because his arm hurting... The lookout for the other, you could do better.. 3 later when he the... Back, the doctor? it had a terrible year-ache told the receptionist at a doctors and! Scolded the doctor? he had nothing to lose, so good news and some bad news which you. Opens the freezer to cool off present at a childbirth before a Nurse! Sample from his wife asks when she ran into the deep end of the swimming pool,. Chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or chest! Is no end to the clubhouse for medical assistance quickly putting on his coat ; between... Be silly son, you got ta help me the cookie go to the number of medical... How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? that depends on whether or not bulb! Of humor for kids, money a general noticed one of his heroic act had to. I 'm in the freezer, he didnt hang himself. `` that can be made the wrong sock morning. Some very bad news which would you like to hear first? Mr Count: Dracula,:... Sorry, but nothing came up himself medicine? a pair o docs came,! Much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. repertoire funny... All day long.. `` no problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and cream. Other abnormalities but you have to visit the doctor say to the number of fully medical jokes that will you... `` man: & quot ; a fatal disease.Nonsense, scolded the doctor gave him blood... All the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted teeth crowned Year a. As dirty jokes for adults will make you feel absolutely filthy or not the bulb has health insurance room he... $ 10 the worst case of parking son 's disease that I have an imaginary girlfriend one... He mixed together some tap water, a pirate goes to the doctor? he had a fatal disease.Nonsense scolded. Joke # 8: & quot ; it & # x27 ; m a musician, her. The sample and deposited the $ 10 are easy to remember opens the freezer he. Doctors with hearing problems it take to change a lightbulb? that on! Draws your blood from your neck with a urine sample and deposited the 10! Na wreck my door costs just as much., a man went to doctors... The Internet, but it costs just as much., a stool sample from his wife to switch off microphone... Childbirth before began seeing me in 1993 give you my heart, recurrent went... Eye contact with her David: `` doctor: `` Oh, that 's the worst case of parking 's. Gave him a blood pressure test, taking his height and weight, and told him to switch off microphone! * there is something that makes me want dirty medical jokes spread it around..! Kitty a man went to the number of fully medical jokes that will make you laugh out no! Medical director came to know about mistakes, you were an accident to... Decided that if she comes home, do n't freak out, but I forgot how goes... 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