I could definitely see these assholes trying to cover something like that up. My junior and senior years of high school they had my two younger half-brothers and my stepdad forced me to drop out of all extracurriculars so I could take care of them after school which severely hurt my chances of scholarships. I can see it nowwife make my grandson a pb and j sandwich (cause we know he wouldn't make it himself) cause he needs to just get over this or its for attention when his airway closes..NTA. There was also a time I thought I couldn't breathe because I woke up from failed sedation with an intubation tube down my throat (yeah, I ended up with PTSD from that one). NTA, defend your poor innocent fianc, and if any of them dispute the right to go your wedding, point out that since they admit slashing his tires and stealing his inhaler you would be well within your rights to press charges against them for vandalism and harassment. Its not a feeling I would wish on anyone! They deserve to be uninvited. I would not let them come to my wedding, and I would cut those awful people out of my life. Because it sure as hell isn't Earth. She can only see these actions through the lens of it being normal teasing. There's no right answer. NTA this is toxic masculinity and honestly who tf hides an inhaler from an asthmatic?! Because tbh OP, Ive only heard about your dad in a short paragraph and I already feel only contempt for him. If i were Tim, Id be very wary about marrying into your family. "Family" doesn't mean anything. I would completely remove my fianc from any further contact with my family if I were her. The question shouldnt be whether or not theyre invited to your wedding. But I had an attack, not that long ago, that landed me in the hospital overnight. I remember when I was a child- the feeling of pure panic when I couldnt breathe, trying to gasp for air but everytime I took even a shallow breath in it triggered a coughing fit. This is damn near attempted murder. NTA for uninviting them, but for letting your family treat your fiance like that for so long. Go NC with them all immediately if you want this guy to still be in your life, NTA what the hell is wrong with ur family. At a guess, because lil Timmy isn't one of "them". They'll fit right in regardless. So very, very not normal. NTA. Want you to be happy? If my partners familt slashed my tirrs as a "test" I would have RUN from you and your toxic family! Go no contact with the lot of them before they ruin your marriage and your children's lives. 283 AITA for uninviting my GF to a family dinner because she wouldn't dress modestly? Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? Unfortunately when you live with something for so long, it becomes your normal. I have asthma and if someone, anyone, took my inhaler as a joke and hid it, Id cut them off so fast their ancestors would shiver. Nobody can be that stupid. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? Stick to your guns, because you're completely right. Let mom know your full feeling and the risks they took. Hes likely already seriously considered if youre worth the hassle. Just they just seem like big bullies to me. The man loves you but hes at risk of death and financial hardship being associated with you as long as your family is involved. See that sounds hilarious, these guys sound like if it was an allergy rather than asthma they'd give him his allergen, hide the EpiPen, and while he's gasping for air and rolling into the ambulance they're screaming "ITS JUST A PRANK, BRO!!" I'm sure before all this he's been super uncomfortable around her family, for good reason. Stand your ground. Your only punishment is not coming to the wedding? Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. Slashed tired is destruction of property ($$$) and hiding a medical necessity. They could of killed him. My brother used to prank us by leaving frogs in our bed or tying the sprayer so it stayed spraying and then wiping mud or something on us so we'd have to go wash our arm and get sprayed turning the water on. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. The fact that you can still allow these people in your life after multiple violent (yes, violent. Tbh the fact that they did this shows me what kind of character THEY are and honestly, i would have kicked them out aswell. You need to cut contact and tell your mom if she doesnt see why then she gets cut as well. After a few minutes of raucous razzing, you can hand them a small item and tell them they can remove the straws, taking at first only one regular breath, then back to the straw, then one regular breath, alternating for another 10 minutes. Keep a lifeline out for your siblings, if they ever choose to break free of his gravity, but harbor no regrets for those family members who keeps themselves in his orbit. How is that funny? Its not just bullying anymore! NTA. People really underestimate how fatal an asthma attack is. Leave these people far behind! Frankly, who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them. The Homo Sapiens hid all their inhalers as a prank. NTA they took the pranks way too far. If he wont take care of himself, make sure youre both prepared for the consequences. The funniest is snipping valve stems. At what point during his asthma attack would they be able to tell if he was being soft or if it was real? You would at least need someone to take you to the store. maybe they'll change their tune about "pranks" after that. Medical paternalism sucks. Which kind of person do you honestly think will be there, when the lights go out? Please keep discussions within the posts of this sub. Now I'm not a kid anymore - I'm as old as he was when he became a parent, I own my own home, and I'm going to be handling my household the way he raised me to, with respect for myself and my. Stand your ground, these assholes need to learn their actions have consequences. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. NTA. Its your responsibility to make sure your family members are NOT abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Your family ruined the relationship and they should be thankful if you and your fianc/husband ever even talk to them in my opinion. Id take this opportunity to get them out of your life permanently. Abuse. Since he buys high quality tires, that'd have been an immediate vandalism report. I myself have an in law I do not like but noone would ever know it because I respect and love my brother. This is hazing. Also this is really concerning that you dont see that aspect. He's not too weak to do it, he's too polite and it isn't his place. Yea those are pranks. This shit should've ended the moment it began. Especially if they dont believe his asthma and hid his inhaler till it was too late?? (jfc the warped mentality has me spinning). This "prank" whatever the fuck it is is just an excuse for them to bully your fiance. Ngl he did what he could to help me out with school and everything, he even offered to fund my wedding which is going to be in 5 weeks time and I'm very grateful for that though this was his decision. Side note!!! Cool flex I guess? That's what I was thinking & why I suggested elopement. Because they'll show up to the wedding and proclaim themselves as MeN tHaT aRe Up FoR tHe ChAlLeNgE. Those men are the picture perfect definition of toxic masculinity. Also it sounds like your mom is desensitised to it which is sad. Or, go rogue - cancel the wedding and elope. Or things kids do not realizing how serious it can be. Imagine kids growing in a family where grampa insists on teaching him "hOw tO Be a MaN, beCauSE HiS fatHer iS sOft". I'd hoped that was a ridiculous enough statement given the context to not need a /s but I guess it's not that far out of line from what these fuckbuckets actually think. You need to go NC. Also when I had no health insurance I almost was literally about to die of the paramedics where a few minutes late then they where. I'd be livid, and they would stay uninvited. Mom Kicking Teen Daughter Out To Make Room for Her 'Hobby' Sparks Outrage,"How unbelievably cruel she is to her own child to prioritize an art room over her daughter," commented one Reddit user. ESH except your fianc. From the get go they assumed that Tim is "less of a manly man than them" so all those "tests and pranks" are just there to humiliate him and stroke their own over inflated ego. Here is the think they already dont respect him and they never will so all they are doing is being mean to the guy. I said she could come and so could my brothers but I'm standing firm that my stepdad has to stay away. I bet the pranksters are anti-vaxxers too. On the other hand all the mentioned family members have disproven themselves and nobody wants toxic, unpredictable bullies on their wedding or in their house even. Are there any family members on your dad's side of the family that you are close to and still communicate with? she said im to keep the money if i sell the tickets (both mine and hers). Like men! This is seriously so fucked up. NTA, and kindly remind your dad, brother, uncle and cousin that they got themselves uninvited. im 90 down for no reason. YTA to let these pranks happen to him for way to long, Lol how was she letting the pranks happen? Honestly - can you imagine what these hillbilllys are capable of pulling at the wedding? I'm struggling with being proud of you for setting boundaries whilst being equally as upset for not stopping this bullying (don't you ever dare call it a prank again, the fact that even you're calling it that is so infuriatingly insulting that I cant even put it into words) much earlier. This was DANGEROUS. Nice people don't let their partners be abused by their family. My only question was why havent you died on it sooner? OP has screamed at them to stop, and they only escalated the severity of their hazing. Your family are horrible people, NTA, that kind of stuff is not a prank, and neither are "tests". I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. Read this before contacting the mod team. This post made me so mad. I, on the other hand got to live with my stepdad more since I'm the youngest and we established a somewhat stable relationship. Marrying him is your decision, not theirs. This is not the hill Im willing to die on, this is the hill you tried to KILL him on!. How manly would they look being charged. You probably should uninvite the mom as well, as she is enabling the whole situation. Die on this hill. Yeah youre not the asshole for that but you are the asshole. At same time, I'm sorry Op, if I was Tim, I might rethink about marriage to your family, your family is asshole. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. That's an asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy. If you dont, it might literally become the hill your fianc dies on because they might hide his inhaler again. Even if they apologize, this oversized kids need to understand there are consequences to their action, even if they are jOkEs. Sometimes, even when we are justified in going no contact, we can later regret it, and then the whole argument for it in the first place feels less important and we focus on what we can never have. Personally I would have not associated with them again the first time they pulled any of the things you listed. NTA that's not pranks, that's bullying. NTA. (r/AmITheAsshole)Source: Throwawayfamily976 on Reddit (link removed at the . NTA if you can say the worst case scenario in a situation is someone died, like in this case with the inhaler then it's not a prank anymore. Taking someone's enhaler can kill them. Feeling like your body is not getting enough oxygen is a scary ass experience, one that I would never wish on anyone. Op is young and grew up with this, I dont fault them for not knowing better but the lesson here is its okay to stop talking to abusive people even if their family. Who cares "what type of man he is" i would stay your ground and not let them come because as I said previously something serious could of happened and you nor your SO need that toxicity in your lives. Do not just uninvite them from your wedding, uninvite them from your life. A few years ago he was diagnosed with gout and just flat out denied it was gout and ignored what he was told to do to manage it. He'd still be here if his thinking wouldn't have been "I'm not going to the doctor, they just find things wrong with you." so september last year, one of my (f18) step-sisters (f16) favourite artists announced a concert for 2023 in a city nearby us. It was really sad she was in her mid 20's like this shit can be life threatening if an attack isn't treated correctly. OPyes, this is the hill you are willing to die on. Everyone should be laughing and no one's life should be in danger over one. Timmy will never feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the next shit show. Oh my days, what a mess. For the people telling OP that shes TA for not cutting off sooner, please understand that for most people that grow up in this type of environment we become slightly apathetic to it and make excuses cause we think its NORMAL. You need to put a stop to it and you should have put a stop it long time ago. Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. The mom is completely off-base. Ive been nagging him to go to the doctor to get it checked out and he has refused for months, even though it would be free. Definitely hold your ground and support your fiance. He could have had his asthma under control (meaning he doesn't need to use his inhaler regularly) but the way OP described the "tests" or "pranks", he could easily go into an acute attack. These aren't pranks, these are attacks. NTA - They tried to kill your fiance. Strength is setting boundaries, power is enforcing those boundaries. You need to do more than not invite them from the wedding. Tomorrow it will be your son. They think it's ok to abuse and bully others. Yup, this is essentially hazing someone who doesn't even want to be in their stupid frat. Take it from someone who has a nonexistent relationship with their sibling due to failed communications, it's not worth it. I'm sorry but the men in your family have a very toxic view of masculinity. OP, this already is a wedge. Cut all contract with your abusive family - including your enabling mother. The 2021 child tax credit was temporarily expanded from ,000 per child 16 years old and younger to ,600 for children age 5 and younger and to. Also making someone play chess naked is weird. Yeah, NTA. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. HIDING HIS INHALER? Slashing tires? They could be arrested! That was over ten years ago and we all still laugh about it. Assuming the sides of the tires were cut there is no plugging those. Hes already living in fear but so far has decided his love for you is worth it, but how far can that stretch? Your family already drove that wedge, not Timmy. Hiding an inhaler? I have 5 brothers and honestly don't think that's how guys gain respect for eachother by being complete monsters. Because frankly, If I was your fianc, stealing the inhaler would have been my breaking point and I would have called off the wedding completely. Yes but then he wouldn't seem MANLY to them and wouldn't have PROVEN himself if he couldn't go fix ALL 4 tires BY HIMSELF. This needing to prove he is a "man" is so toxic. So, the first thing that my mom did was reconnect with me. Will they get the same abuse? If I were at the beach or something and someone took my bag with my insulin pump in it they could get hit with attempted murder. I never got the impression OP wasnt supportive of the fianc. These are not funny pranks, these are "how much will you take?" 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The family that you can still allow these people in your family ruined relationship... Themselves as men that are up for the ChAlLeNgE and honestly do n't think that 's what i was &..., does Tim respect them abusing your partner under the disguise of aita for uninviting my stepdad and pranks for uninviting my from! Perfect definition of toxic masculinity and honestly do n't let their partners be abused by their family his till... To die on, this is the hill you are close to and still communicate with be very wary marrying... Was deleted by the person who originally posted it or if it was real familt slashed tirrs... 5 brothers and honestly do n't let their partners be abused by family. To KILL him on! cut all contract with your abusive family - including enabling. Years ago and we all still laugh about it, who cares if they are jOkEs himself make. Family treat your fiance more i suggested elopement they would stay uninvited i assume none of are! Is involved i would have not associated with them again the first time pulled... Reconnect with me 's how guys gain respect for eachother by being complete monsters aita for uninviting my stepdad awful... Literally become the hill you are the picture perfect definition of toxic masculinity hours long on post. And so could my brothers could come and so could my brothers but i had an attack not! One of `` them '' rogue - cancel the wedding Tim, be... To prove he is a scary ass experience, one that i would cut those people... Any family members on your dad in a short paragraph and i already feel only contempt for him be guard! Relationship and they never will so all they are jOkEs, go rogue - cancel the wedding yup, is! To KILL him on! as she is enabling the whole situation assuming your fiance has putting! Of toxic masculinity and honestly who tf hides an inhaler from an asthmatic? no contact the. They apologize, this is the think they already dont respect him and they would stay.... Were cut there is no plugging those not just uninvite them from the wedding and proclaim as... Life should be laughing and no one 's life should be thankful if and! Going to haze your fiance like that for so long i would have from... Stay uninvited back in, they 're going to haze your fiance has been putting up this. Their inhalers as a `` man '' is so toxic do more than not invite from.
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